


Patterns

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M, Romance, Series: Cascade Place, other pairing - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 04:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair starts to face up to a problem<br/>This story is a sequel to Poor Blair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Patterns

## Patterns

by Blair Kennedy

Author's webpage: <http://members.tripod.com/~Blair_K/index.html>

Author's disclaimer: Not mine. I'm working on it, though.

* * *

Jim was down on the street talking to a neighbour in front of Colette's holding a bag of takeout from the Golden Pavilion when he heard Blair wretching in the bathroom upstairs. Excusing himself, he made triple time to the loft apartment he shared with his domestic partner. He had heard Blair getting sick over the past few months. Questioning the anthropologist provided no clear answers to what might be causing these episodes. The answer was always a virus, stress or something he ate. I'm not buying it this time, Jim thought as he tossed the takeout bag on the kitchen island as he headed for the bathroom. He reached for the door and cursed when he foundit locked. 

"Chief, you all right in there? Open the door," Jim said, using his enhanced senses to to perform a cursory scan of his partner. The odour of Blair's voided stomach was unmistakable. Damn, the detective thought as he pounded on the door. This has gone far enough. "Blair, open the door or I'm going to break it down." 

"Don't," Blair said from his position on the floor behind the door, back against the wall. He wiped a wet cloth across his mouth and pushed his hair out of his face, noticing a few flecks of vomitous in his dark curls. Crap, he thought as he wiped his face again. I can't let Jim see me like this. "I'm okay. Just give me a minute." 

"Blair, I want to talk to you. Let me in," Jim said, trying the doorknob again. What are you hiding? If there is something wrong with you, I need to know. "Chief?" 

"Look, I'm going to take a shower. We can talk when I get out," Blair said, rising to his feet and leaning against the door. "I'll be quick about it. I promise." 

"Fine. I brought dinner home. Hurry up before it's totally ruined," Jim said turning away from the door. As he started back into the living area, he noticed a plastic wrapper on the floor inside the doors to Blair's old room. His sensitive nose detected the scent of heavily waxed chocolate. It wasn't the fine chocolate from Godiva, but the inexpensive, poorly flavoured kind used in snack foods. Picking up the wrapper, Jim wondered when Blair developed a taste for HoHos. 

This has got to stop, Blair thought as he lathered his hair with Pantene. I should call Dr. Denning, but that would be like admitting failure wouldn't it? I've handled this forever. What's so different now? Is it Jim? I admit it's hard keeping secrets from someone with enhanced senses, but why do I even want to keep this secret? I've pledged my life to Jim, for better or worse. I think this would constitute worse. I wonder if my decision to keep silent is coloured by his romantic track record. He was married to Carolyn and that didn't work out. Who's to say we will work out? This could be the bombshell that makes him tell me to hit the bricks. I don't want that. So, what do you want then? Do you honestly think he will be anymore pleased with you lying to him? Face it, man, you're in over your head. 

* * *

Across town and to the north, Jason Voigt was pondering the direction his life would take as well. I wonder if I made the right decision to come here? My life in Seattle was in shambles to be sure, but it was nothing a little hard work couldn't improve. What did I do? I cut and ran. Just like dear old Dad always said I did. I can hear him now, 'I always knew you were a loser, son. You never had the stones to see anything through.' Yeah, just like you didn't have the stones to stick by your wife while she was wasting away with cancer. No, you cutout on us, so don't preach to me you old hypocrite. Pouring himself a scotch, Jason sat down on a canvas and aluminum chair in his spartan bachelor's apartment. Cascade promises to be a new beginning for me, he said as he pulled a picture out of his battered wallet. I wonder, he thought as he looked at the creased picture of two young women and a younger boy posing in what they hoped was a seductive manner on an old leatherette sofa in a place called the Zeta lounge, if you, Blair, will be a part of that new beginning? 

"Well, I feel better," Blair said as he strolled nonchalantly out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, water still glistening in his chest hair. He noticed Jim on the couch in front of the TV watching Barbara Walters on the news. The older man looked decidely unhappy. Time to dance. "I'm going to go up and put some clothes on." 

"Blair what's wrong with you?" Jim asked, eyes fixed on Barbara and her glazed-looking hair. 

"What are you talking, Jim?" Blair looked around nervously, momentarily feeling sorry for the suspects who were subjected to one of Jim's grillings. "There's nothing wrong with me." 

"You were sick in the bathroom, Chief," Jim accused. "This isn't the first time I've heard you being sick, either." 

"Jim," Blair began, rolling his eyes. "You're going to give yourself grey hair worrying about me. I'm okay. You're okay. Let me just go put on some clothes, we'll eat and then, if you're game, maybe we can test the limits of the new Serta mattress." 

Blair smiled seductively and strolled over to Jim, liking that scenario more and more. He leaned over and place a feather-light kiss on Jim's forehead and found himself pulled into Jim's lap. 

"Okay, forget dinner," Blair said as his lips brushed across Jim's. "I'm ready for dessert." 

"Chief," Jim said as he pulled Blair away to look him in the eyes, fighting to maintain his reserve under the influence of his own excitement. " Answer me a question." 

"Fine, you can be on top this time," Blair said breathily as he ran his hands under Jim's shirt, leaning in to inhale the scent he knew as distinctly Jim's. 

"Blair," Jim said seriously, pulling the younger man away from him. "Are you on drugs?" 

* * *

"I promise I will never want that table," Carrie Fisher said as she stared at a tacky wagon wheel table. 

"I know how you feel," Megan said, clicking off the TV. She looked around Rafe's apartment which was as neat and perfectly put together as her fellow detective. If Rafe and I ever did get married, I'd have to totally redecorate just to put some life in this place. What's with all the grey? I'm starved for colour in here. Plus, those kickboxing movie posters would have to go. Then there's that one over the fire place. It would surely have to go. "Rafe, are you almost finished?" 

"Be right out," Rafe called from the kitchen of his apartment. She's redecorating, he thought. I can feel it. I'd let her do pretty much what she wanted as long as she didn't touch the movie posters. One is autographed by Jeff Wincott himself. But, I know she's really got it in for Cleo. I don't care what anyone says, Cleopatra Jones is the ultimate. Putting the coffee on a tray, Rafe walked out into the living room and placed the tray carefully on the ottoman. "Espresso?" 

"Perfect," Megan said as she quit staring at Cleopatra Jones and walked over to the sofa to sit beside Rafe. She still felt a little awkward after everthing that happened with Nicolette de Poulignac. To be sure she still loved Rafe, but she wondered if he wouldn't want to hit the road once things got a little more intense between them. Right now, they were finding their way back to each other. It was a little less difficult than she imagined. "I had a lovely evening." 

"Me too," Rafe said, handing a demitasse to Megan. "I hope we can have more. I know I was jerk, Megan for bringing Nicolette into all our lives. Just look at the mess it caused. I'm sorry. If I could change the past, I would. I hurt so many people. I wonder if you all can ever truly forgive me. I'm pretty certain Jim wants to strangle me everytime he sees me." 

"He's entitled. Your little nymphette nearly killed Sandy," Megan said just a little more harshly than she intended. I can't help it, she thought. Sandy is my friend, perhaps my bestfriend. It kills me that your little froufrou hurt him. I guess I'm still hurt, too. You threw me over for Miss Hotpants just when we were getting really close. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." 

"It's all right," Rafe replied, putting his cup down. "I understand. What about you? Can we get over this?" 

"Honestly? I don't know," Megan said. "But, I do want to try because I think we're worth it." 

* * *

I wish I were on drugs Blair thought while watching Jim's chest rise and fall as the older man slept contentedly. That would be easier and less embarrassing to handle. Man, I hate keeping you in the dark, Jim. I know it's not fair to you. Still, this is my secret and it may be selfish of me, but I want something of my own. Sitting up in bed, he looked over the railing and out the windows on downtown Cascade. Shaman of the great city, huh? What a joke. How's that song go? Doctor, lawyer, Indian chief, can't choose a path, can't get no relief. I have to make a change, choose a path. Will it be the path to salvation or the path to hell? 

* * *

"Hello, Blair, I'm glad you decided to come see me," Dr. Sloane Denning said as she reached across her desk to shake Blair's hand. "I've talked with Dr. Ryan about your situation and I'm reasonably certain we can help you." 

"Okay, but I still don't understand the need for a shrink," Blair said uncomfortably, staring at the couch in the corner. "Is it really necessary?" 

"I understand your reticence, Blair," Dr. Denning said with a smile. "But, as Dr. Ryan told you, we have to treat you from three different directions: medical, nutritional and psychological." 

"I guess I just feel really embarrassed by the whole deal," Blair replied, taking in the diplomas on the doctor's wall, wondering when and if he would have his own to decorate his his. At this point, though, it's the last thing on my mind. 

"You don't need to be, Blair. Although its occurence in men in rare, it's not unknown. We can help you, but you need to want to help yourself. I can sit here and talk until I'm blue in the face about the underlying causes that have brought you to this point, but unless you are willing to make a change, I'll only be blowing a lot of esoteric, high priced, hot air. Are you willing to make a choice?" Dr. Denning asked, picking up her notebook. 

* * *

"I don't know what to do Simon," Jim said pacing back and forth in front of Simon's desk. "There is something wrong with Blair and he's not telling me what it is. Last night I asked him if he were on drugs." 

"What did he say?" Simon asked, his concern obvious. 

"He deftly avoided the discussion," Jim said, a slight blush colouring his cheeks. How I let that happen is beyond me, too. I should have pressed the issue, but I let it go. Perhaps it's Naomi's influence, letting it go. Still, I don't want to push Blair too much. I guess I'm just afraid he might tell me what's wrong and I won't like it and it'll be Alex all over again. "I let him." 

"Is that because you don't want to know or don't care?" Simon asked a bit edgily. Jim, if you hurt Sandburg just one more time, I swear I won't be responsible for my own actions. 

"That's not fair, Simon," Jim said, stopping to stare at his captain. "You know how I felt after...after...we almost lost him. I think that's why I pushed for us to get married. I know it seemed to come out of left field, but, I just didn't want there to be any questions about how I felt." 

"You're right, that did come out of left field," Simon said. "I knew you two were close, but not that close." 

"Interestingly enough, we had never been _that_ close," Jim said, sitting down. "I don't think it even crossed our minds. But after...what happened, it just seemed so clear. I loved Blair. I couldn't imagine him not being in my life." 

"This marriage was a bit sudden," Simon agreed. "It wasn't without its problems, either. Did you really think things through before you decided to put not only your career, but your life in jeopardy?" 

"No, the only thing I thought about was Blair. He was going to leave me, Simon, I couldn't let that happen," Jim said, picking up one of the angel fingurines on Simon's desk. 

"What?" This I didn't know, Simon thought as he snatched the figure away and repositioned it on his desk. I know things were a little tense after Blair got out of the hospital, but I had no idea the kid was going to leave. "When did this happen?" 

"Not long after he came back home," Jim answered, thinking back to that night. In fact, that was the first time I really noticed Blair being sick. "It was after dinner. We'd been sniping at each other for the past week, still trying to work things out. It was a real trust issue for me and Blair just thought I was being thick headed and unmoveable. He just didn't see how keeping silent about Alex affected me. It was a real betrayal and I couldn't make him see that. He made some flippant remark and I shoved him." 

"You what?" Simon rose to his feet quickly and stalked around his desk to tower over Jim. "Make me understand, Jim." 

"Calm down, Simon," Jim said with a sigh. Don't you think I've beat myself up enough over it? "I didn't hurt him. It was just a small shove, but that was all it took. In that one instant, I saw whatever we he built up over the years start to crumble. He didn't say anything. He just headed for the door." 

"What did you do?" 

"I stopped him. He told me to go to hell. Went through this whole litany about what a neanderthal I was and said he didn't need it anymore," Jim said with a far off look. 

"What did you tell him?" 

"That's when I told him how much I needed him. I said he may not need me, but I sure as hell needed him. I didn't want to lose him then and I don't want to lose him now. I can't tell you how much I care about him, I just don't have the words." 

"You've never needed words," Simon observed, sitting on the edge of his desk. "You can say more with a look or a gesture than most people can with a whole dictionary of words. While the rest of us can see the more obvious signals you send, Blair is more in tune to the more subtle nuances of your moods. Even something as seemingly harmless as that little shove would take on a deeper meaning to him." 

"I know, Simon," Jim said with a sigh. Blair knows me better than anyone. He's seen me in good light and bad, yet has always remained at my side. Can't say the same for me, though. I've often thought about why I was being so pigheaded about Alex. I knew something bad was going to happen. In my dream, it was me who hurt him. So, did I push him away because I was afraid I was going to hurt him in real life or because I was afraid he was going to hurt me? Either way, he paid the price. 

"What happened next?" 

"I kissed him." 

* * *

"Hey Sandburg," Rafe called when Blair walked into the department. "You got a minute?" 

"Sure, man. What's up?" Blair asked as he walked toward Rafe's desk. 

"Megan wants to get rid of Cleo," Rafe said unhappily. "I mean, we're talking about Cleopatra Jones, here." 

"Does Megan feel threatened by Cleo? You do seem to have an unnatural attachment to that poster," Blair said with a chuckle. "Are you pining after the lovely Ms. Jones?" 

"I'm beginning to regret calling you over," Rafe said grumpily. "I thought you might offer some insight. Megan is your friend." 

"She's your girlfriend," Blair pointed out as he sat on the edge of Rafe's desk. "Besides, that poster is forever old, man. Why don't you just get rid of it?" 

"I should have known you'd take her side." Rafe threw a ball of paper at Blair who batted it away, laughing the whole time. 

* * *

When he walked into Major Crime, the first thing Jason Voigt saw was Blair carrying on with Rafe. I wonder what it would take to break into their little circle? Blair doesn't remember me from school. Or does he? Maybe he's just playing dumb. He certainly seems chummy with Detective Rafe. I wonder if Jim is aware of this? Or maybe they have an open relationship? I wonder how Megan fits in here. Could be they're a bunch of swingers. Whatever, I will find out all about you Blair. Then, well, let's just say you'll be looking at things in a different light. 

* * *

"Blair's here," Jim said, standing up and looking out the door. He smiled when he saw Rafe and Blair horsing around. "I need to know what going on with him. Do you mind if we go to lunch early?" 

"No. Go on," Simon said. "Find out what's wrong and fix it. Look Jim, I don't understand half of what goes on between you two, but I know you're right together. You and Sandburg are my friends and I would give my right arm for either of you. If you need my help, just let me know." 

"Thanks Simon. I will," Jim said as he walked out the door and over to Rafe's desk. Using his enhanced senses, Jim scanned Blair for any trace of drugs. He was relieved when he didn't find any. I'm sorry, Blair. That was unfair to you and unworthy of me, but I had to know. Still, I did notice something strange about your hearbeat. Focusing in on the sound of Blair's heart, Jim noticed an irregularity he had never noticed before. That's not right, Jim thought. Is this what Blair's hiding from me? I'm no doctor, but I know Blair's heartbeat and it's not supposed to sound like that. "Hey Chief. You up for lunch?" 

"Sure," Blair said hopping off Rafe's desk. "You're going to have to choose, Rafe. Cleo or Megan." 

"Get out of here," Rafe said, throwing another wad of paper at Blair. The young man ducked and headed for the door. Jim, on the other hand, turned and gave Rafe a look that made the younger detective want to hide under his desk. I guess you're still mad at me. 

* * *

"We need to talk," Jim said as he and Blair walked through the park, enjoying the sunshine. "There is something going on with you. Don't try to deny it. I can see the signs of something. I don't know what it is, though." 

"It's not drugs, Jim. I promise. You know I wouldn't be that stupid, man," Blair said as walked beside Jim, occassionally running to keep up. He's on to me. I should have known I couldn't keep anything from him. He knows me too well by now. So what do I do? Deceive, inveigle and obfuscate or come right out and tell the whole shameful truth? I don't want to do either. I'd liked to have Jim not even know. But he won't let go. I should just tell him. He's worried. I can see it in his eyes. 

"Then what is it, Chief?" Jim asked as he carefully avoided the walking path that went past the park fountain and steered Blair toward the Mall instead. "I'm feeling a little out of the loop here. We have a partnership, in all senses of the word. What affects you, affects me." 

"I hear you, man," Blair said as he stopped and sat down on a park bench. "You're right. There is something going on with me and it's not pleasant and it's not something I care to talk about. Even to you. I thought I had it all under control, but after Alex, it's like everything began to unravel and I couldn't do anything about it. You were mad at me, kicked me out of the loft. Then she tried to kill me. If there's such a thing as miracles, my being here today is a prime example. After that, when I came back to the loft, everything was so weird. I mean, sack cloth and ashes became your uniform and you turned into June Cleaver on acid. I know your heart was in the right place, but it's just wasn't what I expected from you." 

"I know I went a little overboard with the mother hen routine, Chief, but I was scared," Jim said, noting the look of disbelief on Blair's face. "That's right, Blair. I was scared. I was scared when I nearly lost you to Alex and I was scared when I thought you were ready to give up on me." 

"That wouldn't have happened, Jim. We are first and foremost friends and I wouldn't have abandoned you..." 

"The way I abandoned you?" Jim asked, interupting Blair who looked away. 

"I wasn't going to say that. I know you were hurt and angry with me, but I wouldn't have quit on us. I know you sometimes thought my only interest in you was my dissertation, but it was so much more than that. More than we even realised, I guess, since we are now lifepartners," Blair said with a grin, turning back to face Jim who stood over him. "I was mad at you a little. I kept wondering why you insisted on punishing me for a lack in judgment." 

"I shouldn't have done that," Jim said as dialed up his hearing when he picked up what he thought was a cry for help. That's odd. I don't hear anything now, he thought as he turned his attention back to Blair. "I was wrong. Are you punishing me now by not telling me what's wrong with you?" 

"No. I haven't told you what's wrong because I'm ashamed and more than a little embarrassed." Blair was about to say more when Jim motioned for him to be quiet. The older man turned in a circle, using his hearing to search for the wayward sounds he picked up. "What is it, man?" 

"I don't know. I thought I heard something, someone. But it was muffled, hard to pick up," Jim answered, listening closely, trying to focus but coming up with nothing. "I guess my ears are playing tricks on me." 

"Maybe not. Use your filtering techniques. Block out all the sounds you know to be normal, children lauging, dogs barking, that sort of thing, and focus on the sound that set you off," Blair suggested, standing up and looking around. "Go on, you can do it." 

"Yeah," Jim agreed as he refocused and refined his senses in the way Blair suggested. The myriad sounds of the park and surrounding city began to fade away as Jim began filtering, searching for the sound that set his senses on edge. In the distance, he heard crying. Focusing on that sound, Jim began to block out all other auditory data except that sound. There it is, focus, focus, got it. "Oh god." 

"What is it?" Blair asked, still looking around. 

"A woman, on the other side of the park near the...on the other side of the park," Jim said as he took off. "Stay here and call for backup. I think she's being raped." 

"Jim!" Blair watched Jim speed off toward the fountain he had been so careful to avoid. I know you're thinking about me, but I can walk by a park fountain without going crazy. Why can't you? Blair tried to keep an eye on Jim as he called the station. "Hi, Sally? This is Blair Sandburg. I need some backup at the park near the fountain. There's a woman being assaulted. Jim's on the scene right now." 

* * *

"Captain Banks," Sally McKinnon called when she spotted Simon and Megan walking toward the exit. "I just had Blair on the phone calling for backup at the park." 

"Sandy? What's wrong?" Megan questioned. "Is he all right?" 

"He's fine, but a woman is being assaulted and Detective Ellison is on the scene right now," Sally said. "I've all ready dispatched units, but I thought you might like to know." 

"Thanks Sally. Megan?" Simon asked as he rushed toward the exit. 

"I'm right behind you, Sir," the Inspector said as she followed him out. I hope everything is all right. 

* * *

"Help!" the woman on the screamed when she saw Jim running toward her and the man who held her down. "Please, help me!" 

"Cascade PD! Get away from her and put your hands in the air!" Jim shouted, pointing his gun at the man's back. "Now!" 

"Screw you, cop!" Too quick for Jim to react, the man grabbed a handful of loose soil and flung it in Jim's eyes. 

"Damn it," Jim cursed, tring to clean the soil out his eyes so he could focus on the woman's assailant. He saw her struggling to her feet, weeping uncontrollably as she tried to pull her torn dress close around her. "Are you all right?" 

"Yes," the woman said, composing herself. "You got here before he...before he..." 

"It's all right ma'am," Jim said comfortingly, still wiping the soil from his eyes. "I've got back up on the way, he won't get far." 

"I'm all right now, officer. You go get that bastard," the woman said angrily. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah. Go get him." 

* * *

Man, he's getting away, Blair thought when he rounded a corner and saw the man running past the fountain toward the bandshell. Where's the backup? Jim's starting after him now, that woman must be relatively all right. Still, that slug has too great a lead for Jim. I'm closer, maybe I can slow him down. Blair took off after the assailant. The foiled rapist saw him, pulled out a gun and pulled the trigger. The shot went wide, not even coming close to Blair, for which the recently shot anthropologist was eternally grateful. I'm glad his aim is off. I don't like being shot. 

"Sandburg!"Jim shouted when he heard the gunshot. Damn him. Is he trying to get killed. "Sandburg! Give it up! Let me handle this! You go stay with the victim!" 

If Blair heard Jim's frantic orders, he paid no heed as he continued after the fleeing assailant. Picking up his pace, he was sure he could tackle the man and hold him until Jim could get there with the cuffs. But, the best laid plans have a way of going awry. Blair felt sweat building up on his forehead which was odd because it wasn't that warm and he wasn't exactly running a marathon. He grew more concerned when he felt his breath becoming laboured. What is happening to me? he wondered. I'm moving like an old man. Up ahead he could hear sirens approaching. Finally, he thought. If I don't catch him, maybe they will. Man, I feel like crap and my chest is killing me. Blair tried to keep with the running man, but as his breath became more laboured, he felt his chest began to tighten. Oh man, this really hurts. 

"Cascade PD! Freeze!" Megan Connor shouted, quickly exiting Simon's car and drawing her gun on the assailant as he jumped over the fence separating the park from the street. She smiled with satisfaction when the man realised he was caught and stopped running. A second later he was cuffed by a couple of uniforms and led to a waiting squad car. Seeing Blair coming to a stop, she gave him a smile and a wave. He looks winded. It must have been a long chase. Megan's amusement, however, turned to horror when she saw Blair clutch at his chest and drop to the ground. "Sandy! Simon, summon an ambulance, something's happened to Blair." 

Before Simon could reply, Inspector Megan Connor had cleard the fence and was racing toward her fallen friend. She could see Jim running up behind him and wondered if there was ever to be a moment's peace in their lives. 

"Oh god, Sandburg!" Jim dropped to his knees next to Blair who was still clutching at his chest, and cradled ihs head in his lap. "Chief, what's wrong? Come on, talk to me." 

* * *

"An electrolyte imbalance? That's all?" Jim asked incredulously, doubting Dr. Ryan's abilities as a doctor. 

"Yes, Detective, an electrolyte imbalance," Siobahn said, making a few notes on Blair's chart and checking his IV drip bag. "The resultant potassium deficiency is what caused his heart irregularity. The added stress of his run through the park aggravated his condition resulting in a coronary episode. Thankfully, there was no damage to the heart muscle, but if the condition persists, that could change. This drip bag will help alleviate the problem." 

"That's it then? He's going to be all right?" Jim gave Blair a worried look. Meanwhile, the anthropologist had suddenly found the EKG machine fascinating. 

"Well, Blair is going to need to make a few changes," Siobahn said, leveling a no nonsense gaze on Blair. "Aren't you?" 

"Yes, Doctor," Blair said, turning his attention back to Jim and Siobahn. "I'm all ready working on it." 

"Good. Now, I have rounds to make so I will leave you two to talk," Siobahn said, giving Blair a knowing look before she left the ER cubicle. 

"What are you working on?" Jim asked, looking confused. "I want to know what's going on." 

"I know you do," Blair said, giving Jim a small smile. "It's nothing serious. Don't worry." 

"I am worried. You collapsed in the park. That's not normal," Jim replied, sitting next to Blair's bed. "I want, no, I need to know what is wrong with you." 

"Jim, I..." 

Before Blair could finish, Simon stuck his head in the cubicle and motioned for Jim to come outside. Promising Blair their conversation wasn't over, Jim stood up and followed Simon. 

"This better be good," Jim growled when he stepped out of the cubicle. "I don't like leaving Blair alone." 

"Calm down. Someone wants to meet you," Simon said as he led Jim down the hall to a small waiting area where the woman, now wearing an Escada suit, Jim had saved in the park was sitting. When she saw Simon and Jim approaching, she rose to her feet. "Ms. Marina McCandless, this is Detective Jim Ellison." 

"My knight in shining armour," Marina said, smiling broadly as she extended her hand. She was a pretty woman, almost as tall as Jim. Her bearing was almost regal. She was definitely a woman who knew how to get what she wanted. A very attractive knight at that. "Thank you, Detective Ellison. You have my eternal gratitiude. How can I ever repay you?" 

"Knowing you're okay is payment enough. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my partner," Jim, shaking Marina's hand briefly before turning to head back to Blair's cubicle. "Nice to meet you." 

"Uh, Jim, I wanted to take this moment so you could get to know Cascade's newest Assistant District Attorney." This man is going to be the death of me. I don't know why I put myself through this. 

"Well, congratulations, Ms. McCandless. I'm sure we'll be keeping you busy," Jim said with faux interest. "Now, I really have to get back." 

"Of course, Detective," Marina said, still smiling. But if I have my way, it's me you will be getting back to. "I'm glad to have met you." 

"Likewise," Jim answered as he walked back down the hall. Glancing back, he saw Simon glaring at him and Marina smiling a perfect in control smile. You talk to her, Simon. She looks like a maneater. Who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky. 

* * *

Jason Voigt listened to the slew of departmental gossip about Blair as he put his things away, preparing to leave for the day. From what I can glean about Blair, without actually coming out and asking, he's relatively all right. That's good. I wouldn't want anything untoward to happen to him. I suppose I could ask Rafe or Brown about him, but they seem a little close to the vest. I don't understand what is going on there. Whenever he's around, they all seem to hover about him, always on guard. Megan and Jim are the worst. I know Jim and Blair are involved, but where does Megan fit into the equation? I know something happened to Blair. I could look it up in the records, but I don't want to be obvious with my snooping. Listening to innuendo and gossip is getting me nowhere, though. I have to find out one or another. Maybe I can start with her, he thought when saw Rhonda heading for the door. She's friendly with them, maybe she has the answers I need? 

"Hey, Rhonda," Jason called walking toward the attractive blonde woman. "You feel like splitting a pizza?" 

"I'll pass on the pizza, but I wouldn't mind some angel hair with tomato and basil," Rhnda said with a smile as she waited for Jason to walk over. That's right, Jason, step into my web. I didn't even have to work at this one. He came right to me. 

"Great." Jason grinned as he slipped his arm around Rhonda's waist and led her to the elevator. This is going to be easier than I thought. Pretty soon, I will have all the information I need. 

* * *

"I hate stakeouts," Rafe complained as he drank another cup of Brown's too strong coffee. How does he stomach this stuff? "We've been watching this same warehouse for a week and nothing has happened. I think your source is a bust." 

"Harold's always come through with the goods, baby. He's not jerking us around this time," Henri said, pulling the wrapper from a Hoho. 

"Is that one of the ones Blair got for you and Joel?" Rafe aske, eyeing the chocolatey confection. I could go for one of those just now. I wonder if Brown will share? 

"What are you talking about?" Henri asked, licking at the chocolate icing that stuck to the wrapper when he pulled it off. "Blair didn't give us any HoHos." 

"He had a whole bag full of the things at the station. He said they were for you and Joel," Rafe said, confused. Why would he tell a story about HoHos? 

"He didn't give us anything. I'd remember someone giving me HoHos." Henri smiled broadly as he devoured the cakes in record time. "Manna from Heaven, Rafe." 

"I wouldn't know," Rafe said grumpily. "You got anything else?" 

"Coffee?" Henri offered, holding up his plaid thermos. 

"I've drank so much coffee this week you're starting to look like Juan Valdez," Rafe said, declining the coffee and turning his attention back to his observation of the warehouse. He noticed cars pulling into the area and nudged Brown in the ribs. "Look." 

"Well, well. Old Harold didn't let me down after all. He says all the big boys are getting together to form a partnership. They want to push out all the small time outfits so they will have complete power over Cascade's underworld. Cascade is a major hub for the entire pacific rim. If they partner up with the Japanese crimelords, they'll be pretty much the undisputed kingpins of crime not only for this city, but the state and the entire West coast," Brown explained. 

"Harold told you all that? How does he know?" Rafe asked dubiously. "Is he psychic?" 

"No he's just got an inside edge," Brown said, noticing a certain man getting out of his limo. "Look, that's Jonathan Hughes. He's got his fingers in more pies than Mrs. Smith. If he's here, then something major is definitely in the works." 

"We've been trying to catch him for years. He's just too slippery. I'd better call this in," Rafe said. 

* * *

"Doc says you need to take it easy," Jim said as he led the way into the loft. "So, you can rest on the sofa or you can rest in bed." 

"I don't think I can rest in bed," Blair said lasciviously as he walked over to the sofa. "So, what do you want to do this evening since I have to rest?" 

"Let's talk," Jim said as he sat next to his partner and put an arm around his shoulders. "Before we were interrupted in the ER, I think you were going to tell me exactly what's wrong with you." 

"Jim, I don't want to talk right now," Blair said, molding his body to Jim's. "I just want to sit here with you for a little bit. Is that okay?" 

"Sure, Chief, but don't think you can put this off forever," Jim said, rubbing his cheek on Blair's hair. Sooner than you think, Blair. I'm not going to play this game much longer. We're talking about your health here and I am not going to let anyone, yourself included, harm you. 

"I don't," Blair said, turning his head up to meet Jim's mouth. I know I have to tell you. I just don't know if I can. 

"Just so we're clear on that," Jim replied. He kissed Blair lighty, teasing the young man who wanted more. Smiling at Blair's disapproval, Jim moved in for another kiss as his hand caressed Blair's neck. As his sensitive fingers ran across Blair's skin, feeling the heat radiating from within, he also felt a slight swelling. Probing further, he felt swollen glands on both sides of Blair's neck. What the hell? Breaking away from the kiss, Jim examined his partner's neck in earnest. 

"Hey, man, come on," Blair said, pulling away from Jim's touch. "What are you going for here? Erotic asphyxiation?" 

"Blair, I found swollen glands in your neck. Hold still while I check them out." Jim reached for Blair who backed away from him. He was quickly loosing patience with this game and was just about to grab for Blair when the phone rang. Grumbling under his breath, he picked up the phone. "Ellison." 

"Jim, it's Simon. I just got word from Rafe that Jonathan Hughes showed up at the crimelord meeting down in the warehouse district. You want in on this?" 

"Hughes? I've been after him since my days in Vice. We busted his little house of prostitution, but he got away without a blemish. You bet I'm in," Jim said, looking at Blair who looked releived. "I hate to leave Blair alone, though." 

"I'll be fine, Jim. You go get your man," Blair said, rubbing at his neck. 

"I've got my man," Jim quipped. "I'm on my way, Simon." 

"Be careful," Blair said, turning on the TV as Jim put away the phone. Saved by the proverbial bell. 

"I was going to say the same to you. By the way, you aren't off the hook, you know. We will talk when I get back," Jim said as he kissed Blair's forehead and walked to the door. Turning back he looked at Blair sitting guilessly on the sofa watching a rerun of 'My Little Margie." Smiling at the picture, Jim grabbed his keys and headed out the door. Well, Jonathan Hughes, I think your luck may finally run out. 

* * *

Megan Connor knocked twice on the loft door. Feeling concerned when there was no answer, she pushed at the door which opened with little effort. This is odd, she thought. Surely Sandy hasn't gone out. Stepping into the loft, she heard Karen Carpenter singing about rainy days and Mondays always bringing her down. I haven't heard that song in forever, she thought as she walked over to the sound system and turned it off. As soon as she did, she heard Blair wretching in the bathroom. 

"Sandy, are you all right?" Megan called as she threw her purse on the sofa and ran toward the bathroom. As she did, she heard an odd crackling sound beneath her feet. What the devil? Looking down, Megan saw the loft floor littered with plastic HoHo wrappers. What is going on? Stopping at the bathroom door, she pushed it open and looked inside. Her jaw dropped when she saw the bathroom floor covered with HoHo wrappers and Blair bent over the toilet emptying his stomach. Realisation hit her like a hammer. "Oh, Sandy." 

"Megan?" Blair looked up from the toilet, sitting back on the floor. "What are you doing here?" 

"I closed a case and came to see you while Jim is on stakeout," Megan said while she wet a wash cloth then handed it to Blair. "The door was open so I came in. I was worried. It looks like I was right to be." 

"It's just a virus, Megan. No big deal," Blair said, wiping his mouth and face before standing up and flushing the toilet. "I'll be all right." 

"This is more than a virus, Sandy," Megan said, exiting the bathroom, kicking away HoHo wrappers. "What are all these?" 

"I had a sweet tooth." Blair began to pick up the wrappers littering the loft while Megan watched, her disapproval obvious. "It happens now and then." 

"I'm sure it does," Megan answered, walking into the living area. "Come talk to me, Blair. Let those wrappers go. I'm sure you're an old hand at getting them out of sight quickly." 

"Megan, I don't know what you're talking about." Blair put the wrappers in the refuse and walked over to sit on the sofa opposite Megan. My god, she knows. "So, do you want to watch a movie or something?" 

"No, I want to talk about why you are trying to kill yourself," Megan replied. 

* * *

"There he is, Mr. Jonathan Hughes, pillar of the community and kingpin of crime," Jim said, watching Jonathan meeting with other reported underworld figures. "How did he get involved in this? He's been on low profile since his prostitution ring was busted." 

"Yeah. So low we didn't even know he was still pulling the strings of the local synidcates," Simon said. "Now, he's looking to expand his range of influence to the Asian cartels and beyond. Some piece of work." 

"Hopefully, this is where we can put him out of a job," Jim said, focusing his sight and hearing on the distinguished looking man with the decidedly undistinguished criminal record. 

"Mr. Watanabe, I had hoped we could come to some agreement about the division of resources, but since you seem unwilling to share what you have, I will simply take it all," Jonathan said coldly, motioning surreptitiously to his bodyguards. He smiled a small, satisfied smile when he saw the look of shock cross Mr. Watanabe's face when he saw the guns pointed his way. "Sayonara." 

"Move in, he's going to kill him," Jim ordered over the radio as he and Simon exited the car. "Cascade PD! Freeze!" 

"I thought you said this site was secured," Jonathan hissed at his henchman. 

"I thought it was," the man replied, his voice quivering. 

"You thought wrong," Jonathan said as he unceromoniously shot his bodyguard and moved quickly toward his car. "Finish them." 

The remaining guards opened fire, cutting down Watanabe and sending the Cascade PD detectives and back up uniforms, who had moved into position, diving for cover. Jonathan took advantage of the confusion to make his escape. 

"Jim, he's getting away," Simon said, pointing toward the retreating limosuine. 

"No he's not," Jim replied. Clearing his mind, Jim focused and refined his senses the only thing he saw and heard was the car speeding away. Locating his target, Jim fired his weapon. He watched as the bullitt impacted with the right rear tire. Once the tire was blown, the limo carreered into a light pole, knocking it over in a shower of electrical sparks onto the car. "Got him." 

"All units, move in," Simon ordered over his radio. In short order, the Cascade PD subdued not only the crimelord henchmen, but the crimelords as well, while Jim and Simon made their way to the crashed limo. Their approach was halted by live wires sparking on the ground. "We'll have to call the power company to get these shut off so we can take Mr. Hughes to his new home." 

"There's no hurry, Simon. Hughes is dead," Jim said, dialing his senses down. 

* * *

"Blair, I'm not trying to horn in, but I do recognise the symptoms of bulimia," Megan said as she put on a kettle of water for tea. 

"Megan, you are so off base," Blair said dismissively as he flipped through the TV channels. "I can't even tell you how off base you are." 

"Oh really? Then why don't you tell me about the HoHos and the vomiting?" Megan asked as she walked over to the sofa. 

"I all ready told you. Sweet tooth and virus," Blair answered, not looking at Megan. 

"It's more like bingeing and purging," Megan replied, sitting next to Blair. "How long has this been going on?" 

"For a while," Blair admitted, shutting off the TV and turning to Megan. He couldn't explain it, but he was releived that someone had found him out. "Mostly since Alex." 

"I see." Megan took Blair's hand in his and pulled his head to rest on her shoulder. "When did it start?" 

"A long time ago," Blair answered, settling on Megan's shoulder." I had it under control until Alex. How did you know?" 

"Aside from all the HoHos and the vomiting?" Megan asked as she stroked Blair's hair. "Jim had spoken about you being sick quite often, then there was the heart irregularity followed by the coronary episode and the electrolyte imbalance. Tell me, do you have swollen glands in your neck?" 

"Yes," Blair answered. "Jim found them tonight." 

"All this is caused by the vomiting. It can really mess you up, Blair. Aside from the heart problems, there could be urinary tract infections and kidney problems. Also, all that stomach acid can destroy your teeth and burn your mouth. Of course, the vomiting itself can lacerate your esophagus." Megan continued to stroke Blair's hair as she looked out the balcony doors. "Do you want to know more?" 

"No. Dr. Ryan has told me all about it. I am getting help," Blair said. "You aren't going to tell are you?" 

"I think it's for you to tell Jim. He deserves to know so he can help you," Megan replied, pushing Blair up so she could go turn off the kettle that was whistling. "Are you?" 

"I don't know," Blair answered truthfully. "How do you know so much about it?" 

"A girl I knew back home suffered from it. She didn't get the help she needed and she died," Megan said. I saw one friend die from this because I sat back and did nothing, but I won't let that happen again. 

"I'm sorry." Blair stood up and walked into the kitchen where Megan was fixing chamomile tea. "Are you going to rat me out?" 

"I want to help you, Blair. That means not letting you go through this alone," Megan said, handing him a cup. "It's not my place to tell Jim. That's for you to do and I think you should. Until that time, however, you can turn to me and I'll keep your secret." 

"Thanks." Blair sighed with relief. "I know I need to tell Jim and I will. I just don't know when or how. What will he do?" 

"Jim loves you, Sandy. He will do whatever he can to help you. You know that." Megan smiled at Blair and motioned for him to follow her back to the sofa. "I'll stay with you until he gets home. Until then, we can talk some more or watch 'Night Heat.' What would you like to do?" 

"Both? It feels kind of good to get this out in the open." Blair sat next to Megan who flicked on the TV where the opening credits of 'Night Heat' were just beginning. They had just settle into the show when the phone rang. Blair made a face at Megan and picked up the phone. "Hello?" 

* * *

Jason looked over at Rhonda's sleeping form while he pulled on his pants and wondered if the information he gleaned this evening was worth the effort. I now know more than I would have about Blair if I just kept lurking in the background and listening to snippets of conversation. I just wish the cost to me personally wasn't so high. Jason picked up his shirt and put it on while he slipped on his shoes. I hate doing this. Well, Rhonda, I hope you had a good time. Without a second look, Jason quietly left Rhonda's apartment, thinking about the shower he would take once he got home. 

* * *

"Well, most of the people we arrested tonight will be bailed out in the morning," Simon said as he walked out to his car. "There were six dead including Jonathan Hughes. Bad heart." 

"Well, for every one that was put out of commission tonight, there will be two more to take his place," Jim said with a sigh as he walked with Simon. "I wanted to see Jonathan Hughes behind bars, though. He should have to pay for what he did." 

"I agree, but he's out of our hands now," Simon said, stopping at his car. "How's Blair?" 

"Fine for now. There is something else wrong with him but I can't get him to talk and don't want to bully him. I don't want to risk driving him away," Jim answered, walking on to his truck. "Any advice?" 

"Just let him know you're there for him and let him come to you when he's ready. I know it's frustrating for you, but he always comes to you eventually. Just keep an eye on him. I know you can do that," Simon said, lighting up a cigar. 

"Until hell freezes over," Jim answered. 

* * *

Megan divided he attention between Giambone on the TV screen, on who she had just the slighest crush, and Blair who's faced paled as he listened to the voice on the other end of the line. Fearing trouble, Megan down the TV and turned to a shaken Blair who was putting the phone down. 

"Sandy? What is it? Has something happened to Jim?" 

"No. It's worse." 

"Worse? Sandy, who was on the phone?" 

"That was Nana. She's coming to town," Blair said, cold chills running down his spine. 

End 


End file.
